The Power in Black History Month

Original Post 2/12/2019

It’s finally February. It’s the month that marks the end of the holiday season that started back with Thanksgiving in November – at least in my house. Growing up, we celebrated Black History Month with the same enthusiasm as the wintery holidays that came before it. I remember my mother taking me to the Charles H. Wright Museum of African American History in Detroit almost every February. She was my personal narrator as we walked through the halls, sharing the knowledge of our heritage, and then including personal family stories. For example, our  history includes how she and my dad integrated the first high school in Orange County, NC back in the 1960s, or her experience of being one of nine children to farmers. 

I was raised in the Detroit area, so as a kid we were able to visit the Motown Museum on West Grand Blvd. Due to our annual trips there, I knew these places like the back of my hand and couldn’t wait to tell my friends about the approaching exhibit before we stepped into the room. What I found most intriguing about these holiday trips and the exposure to all things beautifully BLACK during this month, was the POWER that it infused me with. Whether it was the personal story my mother added to the photos on the wall, or standing in the same studio where the Temptations recorded many of their hits – I knew their history was my history and I was EMPOWERED.

Photo Caption: Family visit to the National Museum of African American History and Culture – Washington, DC

I have found throughout my career in marketing that many of my colleagues share this reverenced love for Black History Month. Like myself, their passion to work in the multicultural space of the industry was sparked by the impact and authenticity they each brought to every strategy, project and client they embraced. I have also treasured the honor that was bestowed on me to represent my ancestors, their struggles and my generation’s perspective in the board room – where the grind happens before it appears on a screen, magazine or on the radio. I understood early on that I represented more than myself when strategies were being built and creative was being briefed on how to engage the multicultural audience. There were times when I was the only “one” in a brainstorming session and had to speak against the current of where the conversation was headed in an effort to remain authentic to culture. 

Trust when I tell you, there were times when I had an entire debate in my head on whether it was worth speaking up to the C-Suite members on how their plans were non-relevant to the segment of people we were attempting to connect with in meaningful ways. It was in those moments I was reminded about all the lessons I learned during that glorious second month of the year. Lessons from books that ranged from John Steptoe’s Mufaro’s Beautiful Daughters to The Tanning of America by Steve Stoute. All the Black History Month programs I had to participate in – when the beads from my cornrows flew as I danced to African drums or when I read Dr. King’s speech over the PA in high school. It could quite possibly have been listening to my 98-year-old grandfather tell me stories of how he was a great door-to-door salesman with his yearly harvest. I came to the realization that having insight into the African-American culture wasn’t something I brought with me every day to work – it was who I was every day at work. That was my POWER.

Photo Caption: My grandfather, George W. Thompson and I at one of his book signings, Your Head is a Storehouse: Memoirs by George Wynder Thompson

I’m one of the fortunate ones. I’ve been blessed to work for an almost 30-year-old agency that is founded and led by an African-American woman, on client work that represents Fortune 500 companies who value the ethnic perspective and collaborate with other marketing and public relations practitioners who are all about elevating the narrative and changing the game daily. It is within the mantra of this agency, Flowers Communications Group (FCG), that “multicultural is in our DNA” and it aligns so perfectly with my own revelations. For me, what is for most of the country a month-long recognition of the contributions made by African-Americans, is now incorporated into each day of the year, professionally and personally.

At the top of the year, FCG kicked off the annual company retreat with a presentation on the expansion of our business model – FLOW. We reflected on the award-winning work we had accomplished over the past year and projected a new way of producing even better results in 2019. I listened to each presentation, feeling ignited with the same inspiration that mirrored how strong I felt after all my cultural deposits during #BlackHistoryMonth growing up. Towards the end of the retreat, our staff conversed about the many ways we would yield winning outcomes with our re-charged power. We concluded that by honoring where we’ve come from and acknowledging the shoulders we currently stand on, we are made POWERFUL. When we join together we become a formidable force that makes us all HELLA #POWERFLOW. 

A Message For "My People"

"Ahem" *taps mic*

This message is for those who claim to be "My People" [referenced in 2 Chron. 7:14]

Three simple things you can do in addition to posting a hashtag or filling in the blank "Praying for ________"

1) humble ourselves and pray - 2 action verbs: HUMBLE ourselves (realizing that no one is better than anyone else or deserving of bad things - my gosh, could you imagine if God thought like that? Phew!) And PRAY (praying unselfishly. Meaning not just for you and your "saved crew", OR have the "us four no more" syndrome. But like, EVERYONE.) <-- I know right, mind blown....

2) Seek God's face and hear His voice. (It isn't as difficult as its made out by some to be. It's the same way you can hear your child's/parent's/spouse's voice over a big and loud crowd...because you know them intimately and spend time with them. Their tonality [even if they whisper] becomes crazy audible and clear to you...but you would have to spend time in their face)

3) Get out of our own crazy mess (FOR REAL! Often we shake our head and point fingers and "spill tea" over the very issues we cause! It's almost gross how we separate ourselves from situations vs being the solutions for them. When we began to work on us internally, it will shift the greater mass.)

Okay....why those three things? Well if you're part of "My People" [referenced in II Chron 7:14] then you probably already know. But let's just say, our land/communities/families need healing now!

Sadly I think we're becoming lazy with our assignments.

#LoveYall #ItsOnUs #AnswersToTheProblem #ItsNotRocketScienceItsWord Word.

*Turns off the news*

Originally written 6/14/16

Don't Worry - You Are Safe To Support

***Originally written 7/7/16***

On days like today, I hate that social media makes me question almost every association I have had because of the ignorance or lack of concern people show when situations like two Fathers being murdered are posted and go viral.

I "get" that maybe you feel uncomfortable when you see a #BlackLivesMatter post, and may not know what to say or do. Here's why it's important to speak up and why your silence looks horrible:
It looks horrible because most of the same people who post... #BlackLivesMatter also post and speak up for #PrayingForParis #PrayingForOrlando #ChristinaGrimmie #CancerSucks, but when we post #BlackLivesMatter or #AltonSterling the reciprocity is literally NO WHERE to be found. Is it really that one sided? Why do "certain people" get that you can actively support more than one movement? Or that just because you don't' live in Orlando, Paris, know Christina or have Cancer doesn't mean you cannot show compassion towards the issue.

Its horrible because if I posted that my brother/father/uncle/friend was murdered you would most likely comment on my post, "Praying for you", "sending love your way" or "I don't know what I can do to help, but know I'm here for you". But again, when instances like this happen over and over to a group of people, it's basically like it did happen to our brothers/fathers/uncles/friends. So those same sentiments and comments are still appropriate to [safely] say towards that hurting group of people. Crazy thing is, sharing in the hurt is the beginning of a small step towards change.

Just food for thought. Because after a while, you do wish your "friends" or associates would at the very least have compassion for what you're concerned about. But I'm not naïve folks. Just thought I'd let people know that their silence is super loud.

***ADDITION: Praying for the families of the fallen officers in Dallas. #ENOUGH

My Best Friend Marcia

I have to share with you all how so incredibly blessed I am, to have been blessed with the love my life...my sister, Marcia Paige. She was the person I looked up to, my best friend, my boo, homie, the person I could always count on. She was one of the most creative people in the world. Whether she was helping to decorate a room, help with a science project, pick out an outfit...if Marcia was a part of it, it was FAB! There isn't a person who met her that she didn't touch in a great way!
 

My Big Sister reading to me when I was four!

 I am so heart broken because I really can't imagine my life with out her. I honestly never imagined waking up and not being able to call her in the morning or late at night to just debrief on my day.

However, despite this outcome, I know how truly blessed I am to have had her in my life as my personal big sister, no matter how long it was for. She was the best of the best...and still is.

I think its also important to say, that even when she was diagnosed in 2009...she NEVER EVER once complained about it. People didn't even know she was sick because she still wore a smile, threw on some 4-inch heels and WORKED IT! She still made sure that everyone around her was taken care of, as if she wasn't going through something herself.

Marcia (in her heels) getting a CAT scan!

 I am glad that she is now with the heavenly Father, with a glorified body that is free from cancer! I'm sure she is coordinating some things up there, decorating her mansion with gold glitter (lol) and adding her special "Marcia" touch. She is with my Dad and Grandmothers having a blast. I was sad because I was thinking that my future kids would never meet their awesome aunt, we would talk about how she would spoil them. Then I was reminded, she will probably met them before me in heaven...and I'll see "Marcia-ism" in them when they are here... and that makes me smile. Though I don't know the "why's" and "how comes" I am grateful for her.

The questions shouldn't ever be, "why do bad things happen to good people?", we should say, "what do good people do when bad things happen to them?" Marcia is a beautiful example of this. You carry yourself high and never complain because each moment is so precious, and you miss the great moments when you dwell on the negative ones. Since Marcia never complained, we were able to enjoy each precious moment with her!

Marcia enjoyed her life here to the fullest!

Marcia, I love you...I always have, and always will. I'm so thankful that God chose you to be my Big sister. I'm so thankful that I got to have you personally for all these years. Though it hurts now...I know this isn't goodbye, but a see you later. I am a better person because of you. I can't wait to carry on your AMAZING LEGACY. - your little sister Allison.

***NOTE*** Please go read my previous blog JUST DO IT! (<--click this link which is the title) Just four months ago my father transitioned to Heaven as well. If there is a take away from both of their lives, it is this:

1. Please accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior! It is then and only then that you will never have a "loss" of a loved one, but just a "time apart", because you will see them again in Heaven! You can REJOICE in that!

2. Please celebrate people while they are here! Life is so precious. Arguments, grudges and 'hate' are so pointless. I am so glad I didn't have any regrets towards my Dad or Sister. I told them, "I love you" often (almost to the point of nausea), and I still tell that to my family and friends every day!

3. Live your life on purpose! Travel, have family time, start traditions, be curious and learn, LOVE HARD, apologize no matter whose fault, laugh at little things, send cards, be a little crazy...all these things matter and make a difference!

Just Do It!!!

Being the marketing person that I am, I always pay attention to brands, logo’s and tag-lines.  After all, these are the defining attributes that make a company/business successful. One of my favorites is Nike’s ‘Just Do It’.  Three words that make a lot of sense. These words are essentially saying…stop wasting time on thought, process and what people have to say, and Just Do It.

The past several months have been life changing for me. Anyone who has ever lost a parent can possibly relate. When losing a parent, it is like a part of you is gone…no matter what the relationship is with them is.  After my Dad passed, I gained a courage that I didn’t know I had.  I used to think, “I want to tell that person that I love them, but it may seem weird”, now I just say it because time is too valuable. I used to think, “I need to visit so and so…but maybe next year”, now I just set a date and time and go. I used to think, “This would be a perfect time to talk about Jesus to that person, but I don’t know if I should go that deep with them,” and can I tell you how HAPPY I was that I had those ‘sometimes uncomfortable’ conversations with my Dad. Now I know that he is in Heaven because I took those five minutes to confirm with him his salvation.

Over the holiday’s my ninety-one year old Grandfather shared with us a very powerful token of wisdom. He said, “When your friend is in need, ill, or needs your help, don’t say I’ll go see/help them tomorrow…stop what you are doing at that moment and go to them.”  He told us he did the same thing for a friend when they were in the hospital, and they passed away the next day.  He was so glad he could be a friend when they needed him the most, while they were still alive.  That really made me think how important it is to be unselfish in general.  We get so caught up in living for ourselves that we miss the blessing of being a blessing to others.  Sometimes we subconsciously think that we can’t be of help to anyone until we have our lives together. Not so.  I have a relative who’s mentality, although not often popular, taught me a valuable lesson through her heart actions. I learned that you don’t need much to be a blessing.  If someone is in need, you can always be used by God to meet that need.  For example, if they are cold, you may have the ability to go purchase them a brand new jacket, however, if you aren’t in a position to buy them a new one…you can give them the one you have or share with them. Even if you don’t have your own jacket, you can give them hug…then you both will be warm. You see, you are always in a position to make a difference; you just have to DO IT!

I think it’s key to remember that regrets only exist because of a time we didn’t act on the principle of “Just Do It”.  I think today is a perfect day to activate that phrase. If someone has been on your mind, stop and give them a call. If you said you were going to visit someone, call and set a date. If you know a friend or family member in need – think of how you can help meet that need (remember, you don’t need to be a millionaire or have your ‘life together’ to do it).  It’s important to remember that you mean so much to someone, even if they don’t tell you all the time…so your five minutes of reaching out to them could mean the WORLD to that person.

I don’t like saying life is short or long, however, I will say that life is precious - so very precious…and so are the people in it! So when given an opportunity to help change someone’s life….JUST DO IT!

TO BE LOVED!!!

We’ve all felt it. To be loved by someone. There may be no greater feeling than that.

Sure, loving on someone is pretty cool too, but it’s truly something special about being on the receiving end of the ‘four letter word’ "LOVE" that is much more weighty. Am I right?

We spend so much time in relationships trying to prove, earn and show how much we love people that we forget the true experience of any relationship is to know and feel how much they love you! 

Just think about it.  In a relationship, you feel most like your true self when you know a person LOVES you à has your back, has seen you at your worst (and still decides to be with you), allows you to ask silly questions (with no side eyes-lol), and knows the real truth about who and all you are, but thinks you’re an awesome person even the more!  That is when you can allow yourself to experience, in full, what that relationship has to offer and reap those relationship’s benefits.

Well, if you were to apply that thinking to God’s love…you will finally start to understand the key to a relationship with Christ!  We spend so much time thinking we have to earn God’s love, when He knew [before you were born] that there was no way you could possibly achieve that. Why do you think He sacrificed His only son to die in our behalf? Because He knew that we were going to mess up and act up, yet He still wanted to redeem us! Let’s face it…if someone told you on the first date that they were going to cheat, lie and steal from you, would you even bother staying for dessert? Well, not only did God stay with you…He took care of the bill because He loves you that much.

The key to a relationship with Him is in understanding HIS LOVE FOR YOU! When you finally get that, you can be yourself, just as we previously mentioned. Because you understand [and are fully aware] of His love for you, you know He has your back, has seen you at your worst (and still desires to be with you), allows you to ask silly questions (with no side eyes), knows the truth of who you are, who you are going to be and still knows you are an AWESOME person…because He created you in His image! When that realization happens, it is then that you can experience in full what that relationship has to offer and reap those benefits!

Really, it’s not that hard.  Just enjoy knowing that you are so very deeply loved…in an immeasurable way that tops any kind of love that you have felt before. You can’t earn it…it’s just there for you.  Don’t be afraid of that love, just receive it and let it consume you. Rest in the fact that you can’t change it, it just exists and it’s real…it’s a 'come as you are and be loved' type of thing. It’s personal, yes He loves us all, however, you, separated from it all, mean so much to Him individually. That is the true experience of a relationship with God!

***nom nom nom...that is soooo good!*** LOL

Seriously though, if you want to dive a little deeper, I can recommend some good reading to you. I mean, after all...the majority of successful relationships start with learning more about the other, along with communication - same applies to your relationship with God!

Love you all so much!

Ally P

Please click here for your listening pleasure...To Be Loved!!!

Father's Day Reflections

            As Father’s Day approaches, I wanted to share some reflections I had.  I was recently reading Ephesians 6. It was a part of my daily devotion.  I wasn’t even directed to Eph. 6:1-4, but actually verse 12.  However, I couldn’t get pass verse two when I was just completely overwhelmed!  It read:

“CHILDREN, OBEY your parents in the Lord [as His representatives], for this is just and right. Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother – this is the first commandment with a promise.” – Ephesians 6: 1-2 AMP

Wow…esteem and value as precious…esteem, and value as precious…

Like a true gift, a rare diamond, an heirloom.

I began to reflect on my relationship with my parents. For me, when I thought of my mother, I reflected on all the awesome memories we have had, how she is such a strong woman and the sacrifices she made being the “primary parent” as most would say.  Then I thought of my father, “Esteem and value as precious”, those words ran across my mind again. Immediately tears began to well up in my eyes. 

For the most part, my father and I have a good relationship. There is no doubt that I love him very much. However, our relationship is indeed, unique.  We’ve had our disagreements, difference in opinions, and ‘special’ words to each other, but through all of it…I never stopped once loving him.  This is all due to me deciding to have a heart like my Heavenly Father towards him.  

Not once in the scripture did it say, “Honor your parents, only if they are perfect”, or, “Honor whichever parent has done the most for you”.  The Bible says to honor them. PERIOD.  The reality is, there is no perfect parent…because there are no perfect people.   I don’t have children myself, but from the looks of it, I can already tell that parenting isn’t easy.  However, I do believe in a lot of cases, parents do the best they can, using what they know and learned as children or perhaps lack thereof.   Parents are held accountable to God, not to their children and will be dealt with accordingly.  As children, the same applies; we are responsible for loving them, and honoring them, not raising them. Pretty simple in the grand picture of things?

Please know that I don’t write this as a “Daddy’s Girl” or someone who has had a ‘rose colored’ relationship with my dad. However, I do write it as someone who recognizes that her parents are great; they tried (and succeeded) with raising great children in the best way they knew how.  I know that I can’t blame anything in my life on my father (or mother), because what my future holds was never dependent on him to begin with.  I had days that I questioned up and down decisions that he made, or even if our relationship could be “recovered”.  The crazy thing about it is, whenever, those thoughts came in my head, I thought about how grateful I am that despite all of my mistakes or the decisions I made…I had a Heavenly Father who always kept my relationship with Him “covered”.  Immediately, I would think, if God can love & forgive me in my imperfections and still consider me precious despite my sometimes, blatant lack of relationship and actions towards Him…surely I can display that same love & forgiveness towards my own dad. This mind-set didn't come overnight, but love is powerful...it will come to those who look at it as the only option.

Isn’t that awesome?!  I do consider my mother and father a gift. I honor, esteem and value them.  I love them past their imperfections, as they do me.  I must also add, that as we honor them – we bring out the ‘greatness’ within them as parents.

So, instead of focusing on what our parents didn’t do (especially fathers), just thank God for them. Rest, and know that you aren’t responsible for their decisions, you aren’t held accountable for their actions, your future isn’t based off of what they did or didn’t do and understand that they aren’t perfect. Have the heart for them as God has for you – He considers you to be extremely valuable, so much so, that He used your parents to bring you into this world to be amazing in your own unique way. If only for that reason alone, God used your parents mightily, and honor is due there. 

These are just my thoughts I reflected on. With that said, Happy Father’s Day!

Love you all!

Me and Dad circa '88 

(He even let me do his hair LOL...now that's love!)